[ He returns to the conversation about halfway through her explanation, furrowing his brow and nodding as he reaches to take the stiff blue fabric out of her hands. ]
Do your people not wish for Spring to come sooner?
[ Slowly, he works the coat over his shoulders, buttoning it into place. He can feel Duke bumping nervously against his leg with his snout, clearly concerned, and he gets an absent pat of a hand once the coat is on entirely. ]
[The silences she assures herself, are to be expected. He has been who knows how long at home, being a King as grand as he deserves no doubt, to be so suddenly thrust back here. So she shakes her head. ]
We do. But mothers and fathers look for any good reason to get their children out from underfoot for a few hours before everyone must be locked up inside for weeks on end.
[She steps forward and hooks her arm through his to lead him - too much, she knows but parting is worse, as she goes to take him out to their little garden. Duke taking up firm guard at his other side, as they make their way through the house. ] Then as they get older they realise you should hope for winter to hurry and be over with and parents must tell the elder children that they have to mind their little siblings from too muc mischief rather than staying inside.
[ It feels dream-like, to be here again. Where life was undoubtedly hard but so much simpler. Before, he could recall thinking of this place as a gilded cage.
That seems like such an innocent view of things, comparatively.
Gilia winds her arm in his, and he clasps her hand tightly, following the familiar walk out to their beloved little garden. He's fallen quiet again, just taking in everything with newfound appreciation and awe.
He'd never before truly considered staying here...but now? Now, it could be for the best. ]
[She fills the space of his silence easily. Talking of childhood stories, chasing her siblings about with snow balls and then bundling them all up by the fire while their nanny brushed out their bow damp hair.
Their is a pause, now and then to see if he will respond, but in the absence of it, she just carries on, and when they make it outside, Duke lopes off ahead of them. White thick coat made for this weather, and he disappears into the snow with a huff. Throwing snow everywhere as he jumps and bounces about with his long legs.
Gilia for her part, just leans into Anduin's side with a soft sigh, where the stories end themselves, letting it be enough to just tuck herself into his side. Nestling herself into him and their shared warmth. Sighing out as finally, finally, she lets herself believe it.
He's here, he finally, finally came back to her. ]
[ He threads his fingers with hers, watching Duke bound with carefree grace through the piles of snow left about. It's cold here, but bright. The snow sparkles in the sunlight, and Gilia's touch warms him through the coat.
Eventually he tears his gaze away to look down at her again, feeling his chest constrict. How? How could he have forgotten all of this, her, as if it were nothing more than a daydream or fantasy?
Just as Wrathion had. Just as she would, when she inevitably returned to her own world.
These moments had always been precious to him before. Now, even more so. ]
[Catching that glance, she shifts to look back up at him, and does what she has wanted to do every day since she had gone from her, it feels like, when he was taken from her just as suddenly.
Reaching up to cup his cheek, she presses on her tiptoes to lean and kiss him. A far more determined thing then the desperate relief ]
[ As she tips up, he bends to meet her. His lips press gently against hers, and it's a comfort that feels...distant. Surreal. Perhaps that will pass, in time. He holds her just the same, curling an arm around her waist to hold her steady, until such time as breath is needed and he draws back once more. ]
...you have my heart. Always. No matter what comes, or where I go. Believe in that, if nothing else.
[How long could one moment last? Held so tightly, it seemed to last an eternity. One small eternity that was theirs, where she finally, finally just breathes. ]
I gave my soul gladly. It is yours. Even if I find myself as nothing but the water on your lips, that will be enough to know I find you again.
[ He stiffens slightly at that, before a concerned look passes over his features. Again his hand lifts to caress her cheek, and there's the barest tremor there before it finds a tender hold on her. ]
Your soul is your own. But your love, I gladly accept.
[No doubt, it is blasphemy. No doubt, to want to give up everything just for one glimpse of him in the next life, beyond this place, should have her damned.
Yet, still. She felt it to be true. ]
Forgive me, I did not mean to worry you. I have spent so long trying to imagine what I will say... I suppose what I... I mean is that... Even what may be a moment, it could sustain me for a lifetime.
[Her head tilts, catching his hand to kiss his palm. ]
[Her eyes drop, the last thing she wants is for him to be guilty. Whatever the reason it had happened, she knew he had never wanted to leave her. Clear a moment she doesn't want to say, biting the side of her lip to finally answer. Soft and little. ]
[That at least, she shakes her head for. No, not alone. ]
Many. Many, came. I was not alone for long, no matter how poor company I was. Jacob coaxed me out of the house, and Duke would not let me stay in bed. I promise, I was not allowed to stay in loneliness.
[ He knows, perhaps better than most, that she tried as hard as she could to always learn what people were talking about. She was so removed, so far behind, and so unlearned on what people considered simple notions, that she struggled with the beginnings of things - no less about medicine and conditions of body. ]
I just woke up, and you would not. In my home, when someone does that, death follows. I... lost control, for awhile.
[Still mourning Jack, never having having processed Dirk's departure? To wake to that?
She had lost much hold of anything. ]
They were worried for you, so they took you from me, for awhile. Until I could clean the house, settle myself. Until they were sure I understood death was not certain simply for your Co-ma.
[To an extent, because those little strands drifted above her head still, the pain of it all leaking through. ]
[ Gilia might not have the learning he does, but she's no fool. Her emotions welled to the surface and she would have been neigh incapable of hearing whatever crumbs of logic were offered to her, knowing only what she knew.
His fingers curl around hers, drawing one hand to his lips in reverent apology. ]
I've seen to a number of people in the city who've fallen under such a sleep. I could have better prepared you, and for that I am sorry.
She looks up from his gentle kiss as he wraps her hand tightly, kindly, being that shade of herself that she knew too well. ]
No, my love, no, you did nothing wrong. [ Her hand squeezes his fondly a moment. ] Tell me, if at that moment, it had been you who had woken, and I had not? Waking to me, breathing, and yet no matter how you called, I did not answer? To see me lay like the dead lie and yet no matter what you did, I would not rise? There is nothing for it, and all the words in the world would not have made me ready for such a sight.
Truthfully, it is not that she expected him to wake, and all to be well. How could it? He had been home, forgotten her in doing so, and then came back so suddenly. He would need time, care, space to right himself and how he felt. It felt wrong to expect anything at all from him, so she would not.
... It just felt off, in a way she could not place. But it was not... her business to dig, if ever. She was his wife, a duty as much as love, to see him well, and give him what he needed, and to that task, she had endless devotion. He needed support from waking up, right now, and she would give it.
So she lets it lie, just the same. Squeezing his hand instead, clearing her throat a little before she moves on just the same. ]
The snow kept falling, so all else has gone to sleep I am afraid. But Duke has been having a grand time, getting himself into all sorts of a mess that has kept me busy. Drying him off every time he comes back bounding inside so pleased with himself.
He seems more interested in staying by your side, truth be told.
[ For which he is grateful. She did not have to be here alone, and even when all the others had departed she would have still had him as a stalwart companion, to keep watch alongside her. ]
We should...take him for a walk together. Later on.
[ How could he begrudge her that? Her heart has room for compassion like few he's ever met, and he's never doubted once the depth of her affection and love for him. He'd refuse her nothing.
Anduin parts his lips, halts, thinks better of something and shakes his head. ]
[ The first answer, is the one they are both guilty of giving. Nothing, nothing at all. Too ready to pretend like they never want for anything.
But how they both have learned, often, they feel they do not have permission to want much of anything. Ingrained so deeply it takes a toll.
Still, it takes a moment, where she opens her mouth - to say something, anything, and it falters like a baby deer on new steps. Perhaps because it is such a new thing. Stopping, starting, and has to laugh a moment at how ridiculous it is, turning back to him. Reaching up to cup his cheek, smooth back his fine gold hair, fine as silk, away over his ear. ]
Stay with me? A few days. Just us? With Jacob? [ Open, closed, and the guilt wells as immediately. What a dreadful, needy, little bird she is, cawing out the nest like a half-starved youngling. Her teeth click, biting her lip in the apology they both no doubt know she must make. ] I do not begrudge you your work in the hospice, and the hours you spend in your work and your duties, you know I never shall and I try muchly to never ask for more. I am sorry to ask at all. But - all I have longed for, wished for, prayed for, was you to come back. I ask only for a day, perhaps two, where I do not have to share, us, this, with all the world. I know my selfishness of you is wrong, and I have done scarce enough to deserve such requests, but it is all my heart desires, if I am to speak truthfully. And if that is desirous to you as well, then I have nought else but ask: please, my love? Please stay in my company with no one else to call on us?
[ And as she speaks, he can feel his heart sinking with each word. The pain in her voice, the self-conscious tug, as if she were ashamed to ask such a small thing of him. ]
Why are you sorry to ask?
[ He's not sure why that comes out, before anything else. Desperation, perhaps. Knowing that him being asleep all this time hasn't...hasn't damaged things between them. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ He returns to the conversation about halfway through her explanation, furrowing his brow and nodding as he reaches to take the stiff blue fabric out of her hands. ]
Do your people not wish for Spring to come sooner?
[ Slowly, he works the coat over his shoulders, buttoning it into place. He can feel Duke bumping nervously against his leg with his snout, clearly concerned, and he gets an absent pat of a hand once the coat is on entirely. ]
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We do. But mothers and fathers look for any good reason to get their children out from underfoot for a few hours before everyone must be locked up inside for weeks on end.
[She steps forward and hooks her arm through his to lead him - too much, she knows but parting is worse, as she goes to take him out to their little garden. Duke taking up firm guard at his other side, as they make their way through the house. ] Then as they get older they realise you should hope for winter to hurry and be over with and parents must tell the elder children that they have to mind their little siblings from too muc mischief rather than staying inside.
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That seems like such an innocent view of things, comparatively.
Gilia winds her arm in his, and he clasps her hand tightly, following the familiar walk out to their beloved little garden. He's fallen quiet again, just taking in everything with newfound appreciation and awe.
He'd never before truly considered staying here...but now? Now, it could be for the best. ]
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Their is a pause, now and then to see if he will respond, but in the absence of it, she just carries on, and when they make it outside, Duke lopes off ahead of them. White thick coat made for this weather, and he disappears into the snow with a huff. Throwing snow everywhere as he jumps and bounces about with his long legs.
Gilia for her part, just leans into Anduin's side with a soft sigh, where the stories end themselves, letting it be enough to just tuck herself into his side. Nestling herself into him and their shared warmth. Sighing out as finally, finally, she lets herself believe it.
He's here, he finally, finally came back to her. ]
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Eventually he tears his gaze away to look down at her again, feeling his chest constrict. How? How could he have forgotten all of this, her, as if it were nothing more than a daydream or fantasy?
Just as Wrathion had. Just as she would, when she inevitably returned to her own world.
These moments had always been precious to him before. Now, even more so. ]
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Reaching up to cup his cheek, she presses on her tiptoes to lean and kiss him. A far more determined thing then the desperate relief ]
I love you, husband.
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...you have my heart. Always. No matter what comes, or where I go. Believe in that, if nothing else.
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I gave my soul gladly. It is yours. Even if I find myself as nothing but the water on your lips, that will be enough to know I find you again.
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Your soul is your own. But your love, I gladly accept.
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Yet, still. She felt it to be true. ]
Forgive me, I did not mean to worry you. I have spent so long trying to imagine what I will say... I suppose what I... I mean is that... Even what may be a moment, it could sustain me for a lifetime.
[Her head tilts, catching his hand to kiss his palm. ]
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...how long was I asleep?
[ How long had she waited, and wondered? ]
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... 21 days.
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[ Yet, he knows what her devotion is like. He fears, all the same, that she has been trapped here in a home with him. Still and unresponsive. ]
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Many. Many, came. I was not alone for long, no matter how poor company I was. Jacob coaxed me out of the house, and Duke would not let me stay in bed. I promise, I was not allowed to stay in loneliness.
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Tell me what happened.
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[ He knows, perhaps better than most, that she tried as hard as she could to always learn what people were talking about. She was so removed, so far behind, and so unlearned on what people considered simple notions, that she struggled with the beginnings of things - no less about medicine and conditions of body. ]
I just woke up, and you would not. In my home, when someone does that, death follows. I... lost control, for awhile.
[Still mourning Jack, never having having processed Dirk's departure? To wake to that?
She had lost much hold of anything. ]
They were worried for you, so they took you from me, for awhile. Until I could clean the house, settle myself. Until they were sure I understood death was not certain simply for your Co-ma.
[To an extent, because those little strands drifted above her head still, the pain of it all leaking through. ]
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[ Gilia might not have the learning he does, but she's no fool. Her emotions welled to the surface and she would have been neigh incapable of hearing whatever crumbs of logic were offered to her, knowing only what she knew.
His fingers curl around hers, drawing one hand to his lips in reverent apology. ]
I've seen to a number of people in the city who've fallen under such a sleep. I could have better prepared you, and for that I am sorry.
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She looks up from his gentle kiss as he wraps her hand tightly, kindly, being that shade of herself that she knew too well. ]
No, my love, no, you did nothing wrong. [ Her hand squeezes his fondly a moment. ] Tell me, if at that moment, it had been you who had woken, and I had not? Waking to me, breathing, and yet no matter how you called, I did not answer? To see me lay like the dead lie and yet no matter what you did, I would not rise? There is nothing for it, and all the words in the world would not have made me ready for such a sight.
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[ But he won't insist on fault for it, at the very least. That helps nothing, and so he lets it drop, squeezing her hand back gently. ]
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Truthfully, it is not that she expected him to wake, and all to be well. How could it? He had been home, forgotten her in doing so, and then came back so suddenly. He would need time, care, space to right himself and how he felt. It felt wrong to expect anything at all from him, so she would not.
... It just felt off, in a way she could not place. But it was not... her business to dig, if ever. She was his wife, a duty as much as love, to see him well, and give him what he needed, and to that task, she had endless devotion. He needed support from waking up, right now, and she would give it.
So she lets it lie, just the same. Squeezing his hand instead, clearing her throat a little before she moves on just the same. ]
The snow kept falling, so all else has gone to sleep I am afraid. But Duke has been having a grand time, getting himself into all sorts of a mess that has kept me busy. Drying him off every time he comes back bounding inside so pleased with himself.
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[ For which he is grateful. She did not have to be here alone, and even when all the others had departed she would have still had him as a stalwart companion, to keep watch alongside her. ]
We should...take him for a walk together. Later on.
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[ As she would, to be able to go about her day with him there. ]
... But first, I am going to look after you. You'll forgive me, I hope, my fussing.
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[ How could he begrudge her that? Her heart has room for compassion like few he's ever met, and he's never doubted once the depth of her affection and love for him. He'd refuse her nothing.
Anduin parts his lips, halts, thinks better of something and shakes his head. ]
Gilia, if there's anything I can do...
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But how they both have learned, often, they feel they do not have permission to want much of anything. Ingrained so deeply it takes a toll.
Still, it takes a moment, where she opens her mouth - to say something, anything, and it falters like a baby deer on new steps. Perhaps because it is such a new thing. Stopping, starting, and has to laugh a moment at how ridiculous it is, turning back to him. Reaching up to cup his cheek, smooth back his fine gold hair, fine as silk, away over his ear. ]
Stay with me? A few days. Just us? With Jacob? [ Open, closed, and the guilt wells as immediately. What a dreadful, needy, little bird she is, cawing out the nest like a half-starved youngling. Her teeth click, biting her lip in the apology they both no doubt know she must make. ] I do not begrudge you your work in the hospice, and the hours you spend in your work and your duties, you know I never shall and I try muchly to never ask for more. I am sorry to ask at all. But - all I have longed for, wished for, prayed for, was you to come back. I ask only for a day, perhaps two, where I do not have to share, us, this, with all the world. I know my selfishness of you is wrong, and I have done scarce enough to deserve such requests, but it is all my heart desires, if I am to speak truthfully. And if that is desirous to you as well, then I have nought else but ask: please, my love? Please stay in my company with no one else to call on us?
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Why are you sorry to ask?
[ He's not sure why that comes out, before anything else. Desperation, perhaps. Knowing that him being asleep all this time hasn't...hasn't damaged things between them. ]
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