He seems more interested in staying by your side, truth be told.
[ For which he is grateful. She did not have to be here alone, and even when all the others had departed she would have still had him as a stalwart companion, to keep watch alongside her. ]
We should...take him for a walk together. Later on.
[ How could he begrudge her that? Her heart has room for compassion like few he's ever met, and he's never doubted once the depth of her affection and love for him. He'd refuse her nothing.
Anduin parts his lips, halts, thinks better of something and shakes his head. ]
[ The first answer, is the one they are both guilty of giving. Nothing, nothing at all. Too ready to pretend like they never want for anything.
But how they both have learned, often, they feel they do not have permission to want much of anything. Ingrained so deeply it takes a toll.
Still, it takes a moment, where she opens her mouth - to say something, anything, and it falters like a baby deer on new steps. Perhaps because it is such a new thing. Stopping, starting, and has to laugh a moment at how ridiculous it is, turning back to him. Reaching up to cup his cheek, smooth back his fine gold hair, fine as silk, away over his ear. ]
Stay with me? A few days. Just us? With Jacob? [ Open, closed, and the guilt wells as immediately. What a dreadful, needy, little bird she is, cawing out the nest like a half-starved youngling. Her teeth click, biting her lip in the apology they both no doubt know she must make. ] I do not begrudge you your work in the hospice, and the hours you spend in your work and your duties, you know I never shall and I try muchly to never ask for more. I am sorry to ask at all. But - all I have longed for, wished for, prayed for, was you to come back. I ask only for a day, perhaps two, where I do not have to share, us, this, with all the world. I know my selfishness of you is wrong, and I have done scarce enough to deserve such requests, but it is all my heart desires, if I am to speak truthfully. And if that is desirous to you as well, then I have nought else but ask: please, my love? Please stay in my company with no one else to call on us?
[ And as she speaks, he can feel his heart sinking with each word. The pain in her voice, the self-conscious tug, as if she were ashamed to ask such a small thing of him. ]
Why are you sorry to ask?
[ He's not sure why that comes out, before anything else. Desperation, perhaps. Knowing that him being asleep all this time hasn't...hasn't damaged things between them. ]
[ Her eyes flick between his and gives then a little falter of a laugh.
Should she tell him? One day? Do what Jon had told her, to share the pain of how she had been treated with him?
One day, and maybe soon. But it did not bare much time right now, so she breaks it down to the smallest parts first. Because the last thing she ever wanted was for his face to fall like that. ]
Because I love you, but I am not the only one, and I... Guilt comes easy to me, so does... So does my low opinion of my importance to another. Sometimes it is... It is hard to imagine that... I should be wanted as I want others.
[ His hand slips upwards to cup her cheek, to draw her near. It helps to push away his own troubled thoughts, knowing that she needs him. That he must still do all he can to prove to her how much she truly mattered to him. ]
[The tears well up again, unbidden then. Turning her head to kiss his palm as she reaches for him in return. ]
And I, you. I've been so lost without you too... You are the only person who I do not feel like I am a burden too, who doesn't make me feel... feel stupid and little and... You help it all... all make sense...
You are never a burden to me. Not once. Not ever. Light willing, I would spend the rest of my life if it meant proving how much you mean to me. You are wise, and strong, and worthy of far more than you've ever given yourself credit for.
[ There, the barest crease of a smile. ]
Often I am the one who feels unworthy of you. So here we are. Fools in love, I suppose. So desperate for one another's happiness that we doubt our own capacity to provide it.
I can play at it? Pretend I am very serious, very dour. Never smile and always seem like I know what I am doing?
[ Which is ruined surely, by the tired smile that crinkles the corner of her eyes. ]
Alright, but a bath first, then laying about. I did my best to keep you clean while you slept - but I do not how to tell you, but you are quite the wall of muscles to move about.
[ There is a firm tug, that is her own indication, she is going to be stubborn on the matter. ]
[ She'll find no resistance in him, all too happy to comply at the mention of a bath. How long had it been since he'd felt something so soothing?
Though he tries to push all that down, he truly does. As they pass through the house he recalls with perfect clarity, everything exactly where it was when he left, save some things that must have been moved or set to one side to escape the damp. He peels himself out of his clothing with ease, though he does check his wrists briefly for bruising from the chains.
[ Thankfully for all the damage she had done, to begin with, the same gifts meant she could remove all the water just as quickly. Now was just the endless cleaning from the stains left behind. Perhaps that was a relief, having something to do all the time.
As he gets undressed, she goes about running the water for the bath. Warm, thick with bubbles until they're a dense white foam, and the scent of oils to help soften his skin, brushes, because she intends of making sure that every little bit of him was back, safe and sound. Maybe then her heart would stop beating so hard in her chest.
Though, it is not the intention particularly to seduce him. Yes, her eyes linger when she finds him undressed, he was so painfully handsome to her she doesn't think she won't ever have a different reaction to just looking at him. But. Not the time. Her eyes flick back up to his face and lift a hand to lead him to the bathroom, letting him get into the water, settle and be comfortable. Doesn't undress, just goes about getting soap for him, and bringing it back to balance on the edge for him to use, briefly checking he could have anything he asked for within reach. Maybe he'd like a warm drink too? ]
[ When he sinks into the water, it's like a knot coming loose. He sags slightly, lifting wet hands to rub over his face before he settles in completely, the fragrant scent of the oils drifting in the air. He almost misses the question entirely, before turning back towards Gilia and blinking owlishly. ]
[ She lets him settle, before she comes close again. Coming to settle beside the bathtub as she reaches for a bowl, leaning to fill it and with a gentle brush to his shoulder she encourages him to move as she asks. ]
[ It would be easier, of course, to use her powers like she had done for him a dozen times before. But until her power settled, it would not be safe to use it on something with such fine control.
Instead, she cups the top of his forehead so it would not run down his eyes, and begin to tip the water through it. Gentle, slow. He is a King, yes, and he is a warrior, too, all these things no doubt beyond such little things.
But he was precious to her like none other, and doing this for him? It is the girlish dreams she had once of a simple life. She soaks his hair through, and then reaches for the soap - the special one everyone told her about that would keep his hair so nicely, to lather it between her hands, that same scent of sweet flowers she liked so much and he seemed never to mind, to begin to scrub into his hair. ]
The snow has been a lot for many, at the moment. Parts of the Down have frozen all their pipes, and they have no way to heat themselves. I have kept the Birds open to anyone that needs a room to stay in.
His eyes flash open, body suddenly tense as though to move, but then he thinks the better of it. Particularly when a bit of soapy lather nearly drips down into his eyes at the sudden movement. ]
Has there been word from the hospital? Are they managing well enough?
[ She nods, before waiting for him to close his eyes before she kept going. ]
They are. The building itself has not frozen over, and the physicians and nurses are doing all that they can to help. Everything else comes down to people opening their homes so people can stay somewhere warm.
[ She lets her fingers brush against his, not so much rush. ]
The city is fickle, it could have... but no... [ She leans over, and goes to kiss the top of his soapy head. ] Almost like someone had put structures, people, sensible choices to make sure that we would all be taken care of.
[She goes back to massaging his head. Firm fingers that work in little circles to move around his scalp to ease tension from him as much as clean him. ]
Truth be told there are only a few of us. Since Chieftan Jack and then Cinder with him, left... I have not had the heart to simply...
[She knows she needs too. Knows she needs to carry on, but hard at times to simply do so. To just replace like it was nothing at all to her. ]
I will do so soon, but best I think when the weather warms some and people are able to more easily venture out.
[ At the mention of Jack, he resists the urge to clasp her hand again, simply humming in understanding. Her first contract, her first real love here. It had been painful for her to lose him, as it had been for Anduin when Wrathion disappeared. ]
I understand. But the ones that are left, they are well?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ For which he is grateful. She did not have to be here alone, and even when all the others had departed she would have still had him as a stalwart companion, to keep watch alongside her. ]
We should...take him for a walk together. Later on.
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[ As she would, to be able to go about her day with him there. ]
... But first, I am going to look after you. You'll forgive me, I hope, my fussing.
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[ How could he begrudge her that? Her heart has room for compassion like few he's ever met, and he's never doubted once the depth of her affection and love for him. He'd refuse her nothing.
Anduin parts his lips, halts, thinks better of something and shakes his head. ]
Gilia, if there's anything I can do...
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But how they both have learned, often, they feel they do not have permission to want much of anything. Ingrained so deeply it takes a toll.
Still, it takes a moment, where she opens her mouth - to say something, anything, and it falters like a baby deer on new steps. Perhaps because it is such a new thing. Stopping, starting, and has to laugh a moment at how ridiculous it is, turning back to him. Reaching up to cup his cheek, smooth back his fine gold hair, fine as silk, away over his ear. ]
Stay with me? A few days. Just us? With Jacob? [ Open, closed, and the guilt wells as immediately. What a dreadful, needy, little bird she is, cawing out the nest like a half-starved youngling. Her teeth click, biting her lip in the apology they both no doubt know she must make. ] I do not begrudge you your work in the hospice, and the hours you spend in your work and your duties, you know I never shall and I try muchly to never ask for more. I am sorry to ask at all. But - all I have longed for, wished for, prayed for, was you to come back. I ask only for a day, perhaps two, where I do not have to share, us, this, with all the world. I know my selfishness of you is wrong, and I have done scarce enough to deserve such requests, but it is all my heart desires, if I am to speak truthfully. And if that is desirous to you as well, then I have nought else but ask: please, my love? Please stay in my company with no one else to call on us?
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Why are you sorry to ask?
[ He's not sure why that comes out, before anything else. Desperation, perhaps. Knowing that him being asleep all this time hasn't...hasn't damaged things between them. ]
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Should she tell him? One day? Do what Jon had told her, to share the pain of how she had been treated with him?
One day, and maybe soon. But it did not bare much time right now, so she breaks it down to the smallest parts first. Because the last thing she ever wanted was for his face to fall like that. ]
Because I love you, but I am not the only one, and I... Guilt comes easy to me, so does... So does my low opinion of my importance to another. Sometimes it is... It is hard to imagine that... I should be wanted as I want others.
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[ His hand slips upwards to cup her cheek, to draw her near. It helps to push away his own troubled thoughts, knowing that she needs him. That he must still do all he can to prove to her how much she truly mattered to him. ]
I would be lost without you.
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And I, you. I've been so lost without you too... You are the only person who I do not feel like I am a burden too, who doesn't make me feel... feel stupid and little and... You help it all... all make sense...
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You are never a burden to me. Not once. Not ever. Light willing, I would spend the rest of my life if it meant proving how much you mean to me. You are wise, and strong, and worthy of far more than you've ever given yourself credit for.
[ There, the barest crease of a smile. ]
Often I am the one who feels unworthy of you. So here we are. Fools in love, I suppose. So desperate for one another's happiness that we doubt our own capacity to provide it.
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Instead leaning up on her toes to peck him warmly. ]
A pair of fools, then, fumbling our way through. I shall keep your secret if you keep mine?
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[ His smile takes on a more weary light, before he nods back towards the couch in the living room. ]
Come. Tell me what's happened while I was away.
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[ Which is ruined surely, by the tired smile that crinkles the corner of her eyes. ]
Alright, but a bath first, then laying about. I did my best to keep you clean while you slept - but I do not how to tell you, but you are quite the wall of muscles to move about.
[ There is a firm tug, that is her own indication, she is going to be stubborn on the matter. ]
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Though he tries to push all that down, he truly does. As they pass through the house he recalls with perfect clarity, everything exactly where it was when he left, save some things that must have been moved or set to one side to escape the damp. He peels himself out of his clothing with ease, though he does check his wrists briefly for bruising from the chains.
Thankfully, none remains. ]
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As he gets undressed, she goes about running the water for the bath. Warm, thick with bubbles until they're a dense white foam, and the scent of oils to help soften his skin, brushes, because she intends of making sure that every little bit of him was back, safe and sound. Maybe then her heart would stop beating so hard in her chest.
Though, it is not the intention particularly to seduce him. Yes, her eyes linger when she finds him undressed, he was so painfully handsome to her she doesn't think she won't ever have a different reaction to just looking at him. But. Not the time. Her eyes flick back up to his face and lift a hand to lead him to the bathroom, letting him get into the water, settle and be comfortable. Doesn't undress, just goes about getting soap for him, and bringing it back to balance on the edge for him to use, briefly checking he could have anything he asked for within reach. Maybe he'd like a warm drink too? ]
Did you need anything else?
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Oh. No, no this is fine. More than.
[ Again, that small half-smile. }
It's perfect.
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Tilt your head back, I will wash your hair.
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[ With a twitch of the corner of his lips, he lets his eyes shut and tips his head back. ]
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Instead, she cups the top of his forehead so it would not run down his eyes, and begin to tip the water through it. Gentle, slow. He is a King, yes, and he is a warrior, too, all these things no doubt beyond such little things.
But he was precious to her like none other, and doing this for him? It is the girlish dreams she had once of a simple life. She soaks his hair through, and then reaches for the soap - the special one everyone told her about that would keep his hair so nicely, to lather it between her hands, that same scent of sweet flowers she liked so much and he seemed never to mind, to begin to scrub into his hair. ]
The snow has been a lot for many, at the moment. Parts of the Down have frozen all their pipes, and they have no way to heat themselves. I have kept the Birds open to anyone that needs a room to stay in.
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[ Haven.
His eyes flash open, body suddenly tense as though to move, but then he thinks the better of it. Particularly when a bit of soapy lather nearly drips down into his eyes at the sudden movement. ]
Has there been word from the hospital? Are they managing well enough?
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They are. The building itself has not frozen over, and the physicians and nurses are doing all that they can to help. Everything else comes down to people opening their homes so people can stay somewhere warm.
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[ Yet it felt like so much had. It was hard to take any of it for granted.
One hand lifted from the water, touching the back of hers briefly. Just to do so. Just to remember that he can, that she's here. ]
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The city is fickle, it could have... but no... [ She leans over, and goes to kiss the top of his soapy head. ] Almost like someone had put structures, people, sensible choices to make sure that we would all be taken care of.
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We want these things to last beyond us. Or we haven't done the job right.
[ But that trail of thought leads to unpleasant territory, so he quickly averts course. ]
How have your friends been managing? The brothel workers?
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Truth be told there are only a few of us. Since Chieftan Jack and then Cinder with him, left... I have not had the heart to simply...
[She knows she needs too. Knows she needs to carry on, but hard at times to simply do so. To just replace like it was nothing at all to her. ]
I will do so soon, but best I think when the weather warms some and people are able to more easily venture out.
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I understand. But the ones that are left, they are well?
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